Dr. Jessica A. Johnson

For the past several years, the women's ministry at my church have put on what we call our annual "Love Fest" during the weekend before Valentine's Day. At this gathering, we receive encouraging words from our pastor on how to take comfort in loving ourselves through Christ's unfailing compassion for us and how to uplift others with our giving, whether through finances or sacrificing our time.

In addition to taking in the enriching remarks from my pastor, I always look forward to our Saturday breakfasts, because like other holiday celebrations, I enjoy Valentine's Day with food and fellowship with friends. In fact, eating great food has always been a favorite pastime of mine while delighting in this day of love. During college, I was most excited to go out to a steakhouse on Valentine's Day with the guy I was dating at the time. I was never really into him giving me flowers or a box of assorted chocolates. A sirloin steak with a baked potato and salad put a charming smile on my face and melted my heart at 20 years old. This was probably due to me officially meeting this young man in the cafeteria at our university while I was feasting on a large, tossed salad drowned in Italian dressing. As he was trying to strike up an interesting conversation, I casually slipped my number to him on a napkin and continued eating. It was definitely a lighthearted way to kick off a romance.

Reflecting on these humorous memories being much older, I think about what I have learned regarding loving myself from my church Love Fest services and how genuine giving is a pure characteristic of love. While in my college relationship, I didn't really understand what loving myself meant, and like many 20-somethings back then and now, I was content with simple gestures of affection and gifts. As I matured beyond college, I would come to find out that sometimes simple gestures were guised with ill intentions. I learned how to diligently guard my heart, not to the point of being fearful and shutting people out but to be wise in my personal interactions. And a big part in continuing to grow in love for myself is that I had to realize that God is my biggest cheerleader. He provides, as 2 Thessalonians 2:16 states, "... everlasting consolation and good hope through grace."

Regarding genuine giving in love, I'm reminded of how Scripture urges us to excel at it, a point my pastor emphasized at our Love Fest last year. In 2 Corinthians 8:7, the Amplified Bible version states that as we utilize "faith, in speech, in knowledge, (and) in genuine concern" that we become excellent in the "gracious work (of giving) also." It actually took a while for me to learn and appreciate how to be a gracious giver. Another fault of my younger years was sometimes being stingy with my money and selfish with my time when it came to helping others. I would let a me-first agenda get in the way of blessing those who needed the resources that I had to offer, and when I did stubbornly give with this attitude, it was not meaningful because it was not heartfelt. Giving now brings me great satisfaction, especially knowing that I'm not pressuring myself to do it or showing off in a boastful manner to be seen. Love emanates in such humbleness as whoever is on the receiving end of what I am pouring out knows that I value their worth and dignity.

To celebrate Valentine's Day, you may not be attending a Love Fest service as I will be doing. Many of you may catch a movie with friends or go out to a romantic dinner with your husband or wife. As you relish in the company of your loved ones, I encourage you to think about how your expressions of fondness and devotion bring unparalleled joy to their lives. And think about how you can share the gift of your presence with others, particularly those who are feeling a lack of love and empathy as Feb. 14 approaches.

Dr. Jessica A. Johnson is a lecturer in the English department at Ohio State University's Lima campus. Email her at smojc.jj@gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter: @JjSmojc.

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