"In relationships, the main cause of friction is the person himself: the person who is the center of unified desire. If we can realize that it is not how another acts that is important, but how each of us acts and reacts, and that reaction and action can be deeply understood, then relationships will undergo a profound and radical change.
In this relationship with the other, there is not only the physical problem, but also the problem of thinking and feeling on all levels, and a person can be in harmony with another only when he is integrally harmonious in himself. In relationships, the important thing to keep in mind is not the other, but the self, which does not mean isolating ourselves, but understanding deeply in ourselves the cause of conflict and pain. As long as we depend on another person for our psychological well-being - intellectual or emotional - that dependence inevitably creates fear, out of which suffering arises.
To understand the complexity of relationships, there must be patience and careful seriousness. Relationships are a process of self-disclosure in which a person discovers the hidden causes of suffering. This self-revelation is possible only in relationships.
I place emphasis on relationships because by deeply understanding their complexity, we are creating an understanding that transcends reason and emotion. If we sustain our understanding merely on reason then there will be isolation, pride and lack of love in it, on the other hand if we sustain our understanding on emotion alone then there will be no depth in the relationship; there is only sentimentality that quickly evaporates, and no love.
Only from this understanding can there be fullness of action. This understanding is impersonal and cannot be destroyed. It is no longer in order of time. If we cannot bring understanding to the everyday problems of greed and our relationships, then to seek such understanding and love in other spheres of consciousness is to live in ignorance and illusion."
J. Krishnamurti
"Disturb is essential to understanding, and any attempt to find safety is an obstacle to understanding itself."
J. Krishnamurti
The First and Last Freedom
"But, what I noticed is that the real sign of spiritual progress is when a strong desire is born within us that we have to help others, other humans, other creatures. This desire to serve shows that our meditation is working, that our practices are bearing fruits and we are progressing on the spiritual path."
Dada Rainjitananda